Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?

這是一篇很艱深的文章......但可以練習英文喔！

FB上已經五萬多個讚+三千五百多篇留言了
很多單字還是要查字典才看得懂，畢竟這已經快要是托福閱讀的程度了吧!?
但後面的梗實在是.........唉唷，這麼天才的學生真的是.......(翻滾大笑)

文章轉載自：https://www.facebook.com/IFeakingLoveScience/posts/471854469502236

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
底下的故事可能是出自華盛頓大學的化學課期中考試中的某個題目，有個學生給的答案令教授印象深刻，並且用網路分享給同事，那麼，就讓我們好好來欣賞吧！

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
加分題：請問地獄是釋放熱量？還是吸收熱量？
大部分的學生利用了波以耳定律來解釋或還有其他的版本。

波以耳定律：定溫下，密閉容器內的氣體，它的壓力會隨著容器體積的變化而跟著改變。容器體積變大時，氣體壓力就變小。容器體積變小時，氣體壓力反而變大。反過來說，氣體壓力變大，體積會縮小；氣體壓力變小，體積會增大。
P.S.不過我還是不懂怎麼會用波以耳定律來解釋？(化學離我好遠了呀~)

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
然而，有個學生給了以下的答案：
首先，我們要先知道地獄的物質/質量是隨時在做變化的，所以我們要知道靈魂進入和離開地獄的速度/率。我想我們就直接假設成：一但靈魂到了地獄，就不會離開了。因此，不會有靈魂離開地獄。

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
至於有多少的靈魂進入地獄，那就要看現今存在這世界上的各種宗教。大部分這些宗教都聲稱只要你不是他們的教徒，你就會下地獄。因為這樣的宗教不只一個，而人又不會同時有兩個或兩個以上的宗教信仰，所以我們就能推斷出所有的靈魂都會下地獄。

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
隨著死亡和出生的速度/率，我們大概就能知道地獄中靈魂的數量是以倍數成長。現在，我們來看地獄體積變化的速度，因為波以耳定律，為了讓地獄中的溫度和壓力保持不變，因此靈魂不斷增加，地獄的體積也就會以倍速擴張。(最後面那句我可能理解錯誤，翻起來怪怪的)

This gives two possibilities:
因此，得到了兩種可能性：

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
1. 如果地獄擴張的速度比靈魂進入地獄的速度還要慢，那麼地獄的溫度和壓力就會上升直到整個地獄都鬆縛了*。

*all Hell breaks loose其實是片語，字面上的意思是地獄都鬆縛了(所以好兄弟都出來了)，因此可延神成「什麼壞的都遇上了」、「一切都完了」。from 知識加

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
2. 如果地獄膨脹的速度比地獄中靈魂增加的速度還要快，那麼溫度和壓力就會一直降低，直到地獄都結冰*。

*until Hell freezes over也是片語，在外國人想像裡，地獄是充滿烈焰的可怕地方，所以看到極端厭惡的人他們常常會說may you burn in hell!!(希望你在地獄中被燒死!!)。但freeze over是整個都結冰結凍了，你要整個地獄都結冰，怎麼可能呢？所以until Hell freezes over翻成中文俚語可以說鐵樹開花啦、太陽打從西邊出來啦....等等之類的。from 知識加

So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.所以到底是哪一個呢？
如果我們接受了我在大一時Teresa給我的假設，也就是「要我跟你出去(約會)那是不可能的事*」來看，考慮到昨天晚上我跟Teresa出去的事實，那個第二個可能性就是真的了，因此，我也能確定，地獄是在放熱，而且還早就都結冰了。

*原文的It will be a cold day in Hell也是片語，意思是這事情是不可能發生的，跟Hell freezes over有相關。

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." 
這個理論的推論就是地獄已經都結冰了，所以也不可能再接收更多的靈魂，也因此地獄就毀滅了/不存在了....那就只剩下天堂囉，那這樣就能證明有神的存在，也解釋了為什麼昨天晚上Teresa不停地大喊著「Oh, my God*」

*有這麼爽就是咯?!(大笑)

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
然後呢，這個學生就拿到了A，而且還是唯一的一個A。